Based on some pretty serious analytics, I’ve found that people come to Daddy’s Little Miracle for one of the following four reasons:

  1. We provide laughter and a general good time.
  2. We feature a lot of poorly composed photographs.
  3. Deep, aching loneliness.
  4. Family friendly film reviews.

We provide parents the straight dope when it comes to a movie’s appropriateness for their children. We’ve done it for The Little Death, August: Osage County (sort of) and Boyhood (not really). And we’ve reaped great rewards and acclaim for our efforts.

But parents are a time-poor bunch, so we’ve whittled the whole review experience down to a bunch of questions and their easily consumed answers.

Enjoy!

 

What’s the title?

Locke.

What’s it about?

A construction manager makes the long drive to a London hospital, where his mistress is having his child. Along the way, he must deal with having betrayed his family as well as a crumbling, complicated work situation.

Who’s in it?

Tom Hardy. His car.

What’s the title again?

I already covered this. It’s Locke.

How do I watch it?

It’s widely available to be rented and owned digitally and on DVD.

Is it okay for kids?

Let me answer that question with another question: How do your kids handle brooding intensity? Either way, you should take them. Maybe they’ll learn something for once.

Is it okay for parents?

Parents will love it because Tom Hardy is great. Warrior, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Bronson… if you don’t like him in those movies then what are we even doing here? I mean, did you see the Mad Max trailer? He was also featured in this Esquire profile, which could have taken a turn for the wanky but he still came out on top. It’s called charisma.

Is it okay for grandparents?

Next question.

Is there any relation to Locke, the philosopher?

Maybe!

What if I hate movies and hate fun and hate you?

Well, I… I don’t know what to say… I’m sorry? Let’s take this part of the review offline, if you don’t mind.

Can you a give it a grade or something? Spell it out for me, for Christ’s sake.

All right, take it easy. You’re basically in a car with Tom Hardy for a sad, bittersweet 1½ hours so be prepared for that. I can’t totally vouch for his Russian accent, but it sounded pretty good.

B++, mother******